


You Can(t) Fly

by Amydiddle



Series: Growing Up Parts of a Whole [8]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Logan is a good Mom Friend, Patton is a good Dad Friend, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Save them, Together they try to raise a quiet anxious preteen and a hyper moody preteen, WOO, prompt from the discord, thomas sanders - Freeform, unedited, while being preteens themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amydiddle/pseuds/Amydiddle
Summary: Roman only has a few days left before his dreams are gone forever. He needs to get to Neverland. So, the Creative side enlists the help of the emotions to get the help he needs.All he needs is a happy thought, after all.





	You Can(t) Fly

**Author's Note:**

> This is moved from my tumblr.
> 
> The idea that Logic and Morality were 'Learning and Heart' and also that the sides are locked up in rooms but there developing slowly comes from an amazing fic by FrickinGwaine called "Learning for the Heart". I loved the idea a lot and adopted it into my own HCs.

Roman was anxious. 

He would not admit it out loud but he was. 

If he did admit it out loud he would blame it on the new kid. He  _was_ anxiety after all. Kind of weird how he would just appear behind someone without a sound and barely talked.  _Also how he always wears black and is up at all hours of the night. What is that kids’s deal-No! No! Back on track, Creativity. We have to focus on the real problem._

The ‘real’ problem was that Thomas was about to turn thirteen. This was a number that finally put a stamp on the end of childhood. This was the number that claimed a person to be an official teenager. This was the number where he lost the one thing he was so sure he would fine back when he was nine. 

He would lose Neverland because he was growing up. He would lose it forever and Roman would not stand for that. Patton and Logan may have stopped his attempts before but today he was going to do it. He was going to fly and go off to Neverland. 

“Patton!” With permission of course. 

Roman turned his head to look over the back of the couch as the eldest side came into the main hub. He had his cardigan off and tied around his waist. He also had a towel over his head so he must have either found the swimming pool Roman wished into existence or got out of the shower. 

“What’s up, sport?” 

“I need to fly before Thomas turns thirteen,” Roman said the statement like it was a matter of life or death. 

The smile on Heart’s face dimmed a little and he scratched at his chin. 

“I don’t know, Ro, you know how me and Logan feel about you trying to fly.”

Roman put on a pout and widened his eyes. He was not going to get this last chance get away from him. Patton was his best bet of getting to his goal. Of finally flying to Neverland and joining the lost boys for just a short while.

“Patton, please,” The child whined, “I don’t got a week. A WEEK and then if I don’t fly with pixie dust or no I will never be able to get to Neverland because kids can’t go. I will lose my life long dream! I have wanted this since I woke up in that room. You got to understand!” 

Tears had started to form in Roman’s eyes. All of Thomas’ acting classes were starting to pay off. He felt the speech was very moving and convincing. He put so much emotion into it; true and otherwise fake. It would have to work. 

And it did. 

Patton hurried to the boy’s side and threw the towel on his head off. The emotional side of Thomas’ personality hugged Roman without a word and gently rocked him. 

“Oh, Roman, don’t cry. If it means that much to you we’ll...we’ll get you a way to fly.” 

Roman gasped and pulled out of the hug slightly. “Really!?!”

“Yes, really. We just got to find a good place for it and-.”

“I know just the place!” Roman’s tears were gone just light that and a smile had spread across his freckled face. 

The pre-teen wiggled the rest of the way out of the hug and pulled Patton up by his arm. Heart had no other choice but to follow the hyper side; not that he wanted to do anything else. It was his job to make sure the younger sides were happy. 

“You see, I made the outside of your place a castle and there is a perfect flying practice spot on the roof of a tower,” Roman explained quickly. 

“A tower?”

“Yeah, I got the horses hay under it so it should be fine to jump off of in the very unlikely event that I don’t fly,” Roman continued. 

Patton was silent for a moment and seemed to go over what the boy said in his head. When he came to a good con

“You have horses!” 

Roman nodded and pulled Patton out the front door. The destination the stables and then to the tower’s side entrance.

* * *

 

Neither of them noticed the small form that stood in the shadows near the basement door. They did not see his head tilted to the side or hear him as he followed to two. When they left their dwelling and entered Roman’s ‘Land of Make-Believe’ he stopped and his feet took a nervous step back. 

Anxiety was still not sure of his boundaries. They had only found him a month ago, on his own mess up, and now he was not sure what to do with himself. Two years of hiding under them all and now being allowed to come and go as he pleased and people knowing about him. It was very strange. 

He wanted to stop Roman from jumping because he knew it could lead to terrible things but he did not want the other two to be annoyed with him and make him live in the basement forever. Alone.  _Without anyone to_ ** _care about you._**

**_Why do you even try?_  
** They don’t want you around.   
Roman has made that very clear. Patton is just pretending to like you and you ask too many questions so you are always on Logan’s nerves.   
You should just give up.   
You are the unwanted fourth side.  

**_Go back downstairs and hide._  
** No one will notice...or maybe they will and get mad at you.   
I mean, if you don’t stop Roman from getting hurt Logan will be furious because you are supposed to be there to warn them of danger.   
You are supposed to be the safety side.   
You are too quite and if you hid then you would be hiding information from him.   


**_You will be responsible for their injuries and or even death.  
But you also shouldn’t bother them because you are probably blowing this out of proportion._ **

**_Or are you? Are you? ARE YOU?_ **

“Shut up,” Anxiety grit out. His voice was still quiet and rough from lack of use. His thin body trembled under the weight of the voice inside his head. It used to be that once he came up here it would quiet but now all he could hear was that voice. It would not stop talking. He just wanted to think rationally again so he could help the others. 

His breathing had started to go sporadic as he thought of everything that could happen while he stood there having a war with himself. Roman could fall and break his neck. Patton could be pulled down as well. 

_Can we even die?_

The existential question made his head spin and he moved away from the doorway more. His legs barely able to keep him standing as tears started to appear in his eyes.

_Are we even real?_

**_Want to test it?_ **

Anxiety’s legs gave out then and he clutched at the too large hoodie that covered his body. He was being so useless right now; on the ground crying and gasping. He needed to find Logan and tell him about...Roman...and... _Please stop spinning room. I don’t want to lose my famil-._

“Anxiety!” 

A book dropped in the hallway and a side appeared from the hall. The person did not take long to cross the distance and kneel in front of the fallen boy. He held his hands out but did not touch the youngest side. 

“Anxiety, I need you to try and focus on my voice,” the person said. The blur of black and blue meaning it was probably Logic. “Can I touch you? You can say no.”

Anxiety stared at him for a second before slowly shaking his head no. He did not want that right now. He just wanted air. 

“Alright,” Logan said calmly, “I am just going to sit next to you then. I will talk and you can listen and try to breathe. Count to four going in and eight coming out. This should help controlling it.”

The anxious side tried to do what the other instructed. His mind a frazzled mess as he tried to focus on the counting. 

“If this does not help you can locate five things that you can see. You don’t have to say them out loud if you do not want to but I would like for you to try and nod when you do.”

Anxiety listened to the words and blinked the tears out of his eyes. He quietly glanced around the room and located the things Logan wanted him to; avoiding the open front door. Slowly, he nodded. 

“Good. Now four things you can touch.”

Anxiety did that next; his breathing getting a little slower. He tapped his foot on the floor and rubbed his fingers over his hoodie. When he thought of two more he gave Logan the nod to continue. 

“Alright, now how about three things you can hear.”

Anxiety lifted his head a little and tilted it towards Logan. The pre-teen sat calmly next to him; eyes behind thin glasses locked onto the shaking younger side. Anxiety quickly looked away but counted it as one. The other two being the bird song coming from the open door and the water dripping from the leaky sink. 

He nodded and took a long breath. 

“Now two things you can smell.” 

Anxiety was quick to find these and tried to get rid of the thought that the outside smell would be tainted if he did not find his voice and help Roman. The little thought that did get through made his breath hitch but he forced it out. 

He nodded again. 

“And lastly, one thing you can taste,” Logan concluded. 

Anxiety bit his lip and thought hard. Did spit count? He had no eaten today so there was not any lingering taste. He did not ask just nodded to say he did understand. His hands still shook as he counted out the breaths. 

“That’s it, Anxiety, just breathe. You are safe here.”

Anxiety took a shaky breath in and opened his mouth to say something but all that came from that was a squeak. 

“No need to speak,” Logic said quickly but Anxiety shook his head at that. He needed to talk so he could tell Logan what was happening. 

Logan did not seem to understand and raised a hand to try and be of some comfort but stopped before he touched the trembling pre-teen. It was better to ask permission then send Anxiety back into panic mode. 

“H-heart...a-and...C-create...” Anxiety struggled out and took in a few more deep breaths. 

“What about them?” 

Anxiety looked over at the door. “Ro...wants to...fly...Patton...roof...” 

Logan was up to his feet instantly and looked over at the door in shock. 

“They are doing what!?!” 

Anxiety knew that the logical side had not meant to raise his voice but he could not hold back the flinch. His semi-calm breaths hitched slightly. 

“Anxiety, I need to go get them,” Logan explained as calmly as he could, “I will not be gone long. Just focus on the breathing, okay. You are not in trouble...thank you for telling me about this.”

With that, Logic left the hub and entered Creativity’s domain.

* * *

 

Logic had only been out into Thomas’ subconscious twice. Once was to get Creativity back inside when the younger side had first opened the door and the second was to get Heart back because the side was needed in attendance to the real world.

Personally, he did not feel that Creativity was using this space for the best purpose. The village, castle, forest were all unnecessary. The people, animals, and strange mythological creatures all a waste of space and unreal. He did not get why Roman did this or how the young boy got it to feel so real. 

This was not something Logan had time to dwell on. He had to focus on getting the two sides back into the hub and put his foot down about the no flying rule. 

It did not take long for Logic to find the wayward sides. It was just a simple walk around the outside the of the castle and find a crowd of people near what appeared to be a stable. The crow of people’s directional gaze told him everything.

Up on the top of a tower, not every tall as the castle looked like one of those children’s drawings, was Patton and Roman. Roman’s green outfit shone bright in the imaginary sun and Patton had tied his cardigan over the younger boy’s shoulders like a cape. 

This was not happening. 

“Patton! Roman! Get down here!” 

The two sides jumped in shock and looked down at the side that stuck out amongst the peasantry garb of the people that were watching. 

“Logan!” Patton shouted down happily and leaned over to get a better look, “You are so tiny from up here. I can squish you with my fingers! Squish, squish.”

Patton held up his hand to his eye and squished his thumb and index finger together. Every time he did that he said squish to himself. Next to him, Roman shook his head and put his hands on his hips. 

“I will come down as soon as I get this pixie dust to work.” 

Logan blinked. He could not believe he had just heard someone say that so sure of themselves. 

“Pixie dust? That does no exist!” 

Roman threw back his head and laughed. “Says you! I got some right here.”

“That is the sugar bowl.”

Patton stopped the squishing and shook his head no fast down at Logan. 

“No! No it’s not. It is  _pixie dust_.” 

“Oh my Go-...look, Roman. You cannot fly,” Logan said the words with his matter of fact tone. He knew Patton was trying to keep Roman happy but this was not the way to do it. “That is sugar not pixie dust, you made up this world, and...and you are going to get hurt if you jump from that height. Hay will not break the fall.” 

Roman stared down at Logan with a crest fallen expression. Logic did not know where to go from there. The fact was none of them had super natural abilities that they knew of. The child was going to have to learn this eventually. 

“But...” Roman lowered the jar of pixie dust and turned his head to look at Patton. 

“Maybe,” Patton hesitated and looked down at the ground and then at the boy in front of him. “Maybe we should test this closer to the ground. Just because you are going to be rusty at first and we don’t want you tumbling.” 

Heart put on a big encouraging smile but the damage had been done; Logan could tell from Roman’s face. Still, the stubborn child had one trick up his sleeve. 

Before either of the older sides could stop him he dumped the ‘pixie dust’ over his head and jumped off the tower. 

Time went slowly for that moment. Heart went from shocked to trying to get to the edge in time to grab onto the younger boy as he fell but it was too late. The crowd around Logan cheered as the second eldest ran to try and get to the hay to catch the boy. 

Roman just kept falling; muttering ‘I believe’ over and over again under his breath until he realized it was not going to work. Then he started to scream. 

And time sped up again as he hit the hay and then the ground underneath it just as Logan got to the edge. The older side went tumbling right into him. 

“What were you thinking!?!”

“I-I...” Creativity looked away. He didn’t fly. He would grow up. He would never be a lost boy. The thought of him almost dying left his head immediately after that realization. “I...I just want to go to Neverland!” 

Tears started to spill out of his eyes and sobs racked his body. The clear skin of the child went from white to blotchy red. Real tears were coming out now and there was no stopping them. The boy hugged himself and fought against the hug that the newly grounded Patton tried to pull him into. 

“Come on, Kiddo. Let’s get you back inside.”

“No! I...I got to...I got to learn to fly...I got to.”

“But it won’t-.” Logan stopped when he got the glare from Patton and the logical side looked away. 

Heart rubbed soothing circle’s on the distressed side’s back and gently, ever so gently, got him into a hug. “I know...but think about this, if you went to Neverland than we would miss you.”

“I’d come back to visit.”

“Yes, but, we would grow and you would not,” Patton said slowly, “And it would be sad. So sad...plus Thomas needs you. You are very important.”

Creativity rubbed his eyes and looked up at Patton. Sniffles escaped him. 

“I am?” 

Patton smiled and kissed his forehead in a familial gesture. “Yes, you are. You are very important, Roman. To all of us. We are incomplete with out you. With or without the ability to fly.” 

Roman sniffled a few more times but gave a watery smile at the words the eldest had given him. They were reassuring. That he would eventually feel like he found his place amongst the characters that were growing in Thomas’ head. 

“Okay,” he got out, “Can...can I have some ice cream?”

“I think,” Logan said and stopped for a second when they both stared at him. He cleared his throat sat up straighter, “I think that is doable. You and Anxiety need to lift your spirits and chocolate and sugar are great at those things.” 

“Anxiety? Oh, did he panic again,” Patton looked concerned and loosened his hold on Roman, “Is he alright? He is still so unused to all of this.”

Roman frowned. 

“He was alright when I left him but I am unsure if he is now,” Logan informed Heart. 

“Well, we better get a move on then,” Patton stated and let go of Roman entirely to stand up. He brushed the hay off his pants and than held out a hand for the frowning child. 

“Come on, bucko. We got a side to see and ice cream to eat.” 

Roman did not take the hand. The boy pushed himself up and started towards the entrance to the castle. 

“I don’t want it anymore. You guys can have it without me.”

It was Patton’s turn to frown. “But, you said...”

“I said I don’t want it!” Roman snapped and turned the corner sharply. 

Logan looked over at Patton and sighed when he saw the eldest’s distressed and confused expression. Awkwardly, the nerd pulled him into a one armed hug. 

“Did...did I say something wrong?” 

“No,” Logic said simply as he led the other slowly to the door, “He is just going through puberty...as we all are. This is just a mood swing, but you would know all about those.”

Heart gave a weak laugh and leaned against his friend. 

“Yes, yes I would. Oh Logan, what are we going to do with them.”

“I suggested locking them in their rooms but you denied me of that so...I guess all we can do is be patient.”

* * *

 

Roman did not even look at the black hoodie ball that was Anxiety when he got back into the mind palace. The grumpy pre-teen made a bee line for his room and slammed the door behind him. 

He had already lost his one dream since he was small but now it seemed he was losing the other two to...to that thing. 

Anxiety was not even a good side. He made Thomas wary instead of daring. He made Thomas nervous about making friends and nervous about plays. His door was in the basement! A place he was told was not good for a positive side like him. 

The side dressed in green went over to his bed and flopped onto it dramatically; quite like a distressed Disney Princess. He rolled over after a moment and screamed into his pillow. 

Today was a terrible day. He had no character, no flight, and no one cared.

_Well, if no one cares. I will care for them. You got the look out for number one, after all._


End file.
